Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts

Monday, September 14, 2015

Diversity, Badass Females Characters and If Only This Didn’t Need to be Discussed

I was once asked in an interview who I would want to play Kayla if The Empress Game was made into a movie. My answer? Zoe Saldana. No hesitation there. Some people might be thinking, “woah. I pictured Kayla as white.” That’s a fair guess, based on the cover art. In truth, only 1 person in the entire novel has her skin color described, and that’s Divinya, who has skin as dark as the true definition of black, being “the absence (or complete absorption) of light.” Other than that, I couldn’t care less, which is why, as a writer, I don’t mention it.

When I hit “publish” on my post two weeks ago titled “Top Nine Fictional Female Badasses,” I realized right away that the list was too “white.” There are a lot of reasons for this, such as which actors/characters get more press/recognition (and thus stuck in my brain), who I tend to identify with as a white person myself, and so on.

That said, once I gave my list a second thought, there’s no reason for it to be so “white.”
Why, you ask? I looked at my list and determined that the badass characters I listed fell into 2 categories: 1) badass characters that made an emotional impact on me, and 2) badass characters in general.

In category 1 I have: Pocahontas, Sioned, Aeryn Sun, Elizabeth Bennet and Aviendha.
Everyone else is in category 2: badass in their own right, but I’m not personally engaged with them, per se.

That said, when I gave this question of “what fictional female characters are badass?” a second thought, tons of “diverse” character suggestions came to me. (I hate the term “diverse.” It’s so… “other.” I grew up in a family who was not concerned about race, so this is a new consideration for me. BUT, that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t attack this problem of the lack of diversity in SF/Feminism with gusto.) So, I realized that this list of badass female characters needed to be reworked.

Here is my reworked list. It’s not a combo of a “white person list” and “other diverse people who should have been added” list, it’s a genuine integrated list. I’d like to point out that both Pocahontas and Aviendha are not “white,” for whatever that’s worth, so my “important to my heart” characters are 3/5 white and 2/5 “other,” not too shabby for not really thinking the list through.

Is it easiest for me to identify with white characters? Probably, considering the amount of media coverage they get and my own limited exposure to difference races and cultures.
Does that make it “OK?”

Not really. With one extra second’s thought I was able to dredge up plenty of badass non-white characters, and really, if we want to promote diversity in life, fiction, and everywhere, sometimes we just need to make the tiniest of efforts. Or the largest of efforts. Or any effort at all. 

I want to keep making an effort to increase diversity in our culture on all levels until it is so ubiquitous that this doesn’t even need to be a conversation. It should just be, “Badass females. Period.”

That said, here is my updated list. I am placing the 5 characters listed above as being “category 1” at the top of the list because they are most important to me emotionally, race notwithstanding, but that doesn’t at all take away from the other ladies on the list. They are all badass.

Here we go! :)

Number One:

Storm, as I remember her from the X-Men cartoon (which was awesome, btw!)



She is wise, a strong counselor for Professor X. He relies on her wisdom heavily. She was worshipped as a goddess in Africa when her powers manifest, but doesn’t let it go to her head. She embodies the ideal of “Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”

Number Two:

The White Haired Witch (as played by Bingbing Fan)



This character is phenomenal. She protects her people with her amazing martial skills, determined to keep their kingdom free from creeping illness and betrayal. To be a better warrior, and at the urging of her now-dead master, she has sworn off love, convinced that it will always betray you.

Nonetheless, when she meets the man that completes her heart, she dares to dream that they could be one. Of course, that is not to be. Betrayal after betrayal assaults her, but in the end, she believes in her love, and sacrifices even that, her memories of their time together, in order to save his life. Talk about a strong will and a true badass.

Side note: When we watched this movie, I said to James, “Please don’t learn the Scroll of Apathy to save my life, and in the process forget our love.”

James’s response was, “Feel free to do whatever you gotta do to save my life.” ;-)

Number Three (a/b):

Neela (as played by Nathalie Kelley in Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift) and Letty (Played by Michelle Rodriguez in the Fast and Furious movies)




Both badass ladies who know how to drive. Is there anything more encouraging then seeing ladies rule in a “man’s world” arena? Neela drifts like a pro, and is in fact the one who teaches the hero how to drive/drift. Letty is amazing. She’s all in, an awesome driver, dedicated, full badass material. I loved both of these characters when watching the movies.

Number Four:
Zoë Washburne (as played by Gina Torres in Firefly)

I’m pretty sure this needs no commentary, but, just to be clear – Zoë was the most logical, badass, well-organized thinker of that entire crew on Firefly. Without her, imo, that whole shindig would have fallen apart. What I loved other than her total badassery? The way she was loyal to the captain as a soldier/comrade, and had a different/separate place carved out in her life for her husband. There was no, “oh no, I love both men!” issues. She was a boss. Business first, pleasure later, but yes to both. 
Number Five:
Gamora (as played by Zoe Saldana in Guardians of the Galaxy)

When I tell people “The Empress Game is space opera,” and they say, “What is space opera?” my answer is always, “It’s like Guardians of the Galaxy, or Star Wars.”
It’s no surprise, then, that I love Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy. She’s SO like Kayla in so many aspects: separated from her real family, trained to be a living weapon, on a quest…. It’s no wonder I love her. Not to mention that I love Zoe in every movie I’ve ever seen her in, including Center Stage!
(Guilty secret, Rhonda loves ANY movie with dancing in it!)
What else do I need to say here? Gamora should be as heralded as Black Widow is. Equal levels of badassery, imo.
Number Six:
Nikita (as played by Maggie Q)


This is one of my all-time favorite badasses. She was bred inside of an organization, “drinking the cool-aid” if you will, all in. She ran many missions for them, until, they took her one step too far- killing a little girl. Instead, saved the little girl, and started her own rebellion. A one woman army.
I ate this show up (as you might expect.) Maggie Q is AMAZING as Nikita. We’re talking precision technique, cold/emotionless delivery, mission-oriented, passionate about taking down a corrupt establishment…not to mention she’s hiding from the man she loves, who is trying to kill her….
The fight scenes are awesome, and the show is worth watching just for that. But the character of Nikita? Even better. (Side note: Hated Alex, the girl she saved who is supposed to be a protégée)
Also – a woman does NOT need to be sexy to be badass. BUT, I loved the way that Nikita (since she was) used that as a weapon. A true professional will use what she’s got in order to get the job done. I approve.

Number Seven:

Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)



This is one of my all-time favorite characters. She’s set in a time-period where women had very little power/say, but she is still a badass. She fiercely protects Jane (her older sister) when she realizes Jane’s heart has been broken. She is not afraid to spar verbally with a man above her station when he is condescending and rude to her, despite her interest in him. She does not shrink like a violet, thankful for any attention. She knows her own worth and stands by it.

When nearly forced into a loveless marriage, she rebels (and is saved from it by a doting father, thankfully). And when she realizes that she was wrong about the man she loves, she admits her mistake, and begs for her father’s acceptance of that man’s suit.

She is fearless and fierce, proud to a fault, but admits when she’s wrong. She’s a protector and she deserves every last second of happiness the book’s end grants her

Number Eight:

Aviendha (Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series)



When I was reading this series, I couldn’t imagine a more badass character than Aviendha. I pretty much wanted to BE her. She was amazingly tough and loyal. Independent, strong, self-sufficient, important to her people… I love her. She would have ranked higher on my list if Jordan hadn’t neuter her and grouped her in with all of his other female characters who considered men “wool-headed” and so refused to communicate effectively. SIGH.

Number Nine:

Pocahontas (As portrayed in the Disney movie of the same name)



Growing up, this version of Pocahontas spoke very clearly to my heart. She was nature-loving, as was I, and thought that was something of worth and the land worth protecting. I still feel the same way and am thankful to have married a wonderful man who shares my conservationist tendencies.

Why do I label her a badass? That’s easy. First, she’s independent and true to herself, even though she knows it’ll earn her censure. Second, she speaks up to the foreigner she meets who doesn’t understand the colors of the wind, and takes time to show him why the earth is worth respecting. Third, she’s not afraid to embrace love where she finds it, no matter how difficult, and fights for it. Fourth, she lets that love go when she realizes it’s the best for him.
Painful sigh! I sobbed with heartbreak at the end of Pocahontas. I’m not kidding, I was inconsolable.

Number Ten (A):

Aeryn Sun (As played by Claudia Black in Farscape)



So, I’m cheating, but numbers one and two are a tie, so I’m going with Numbers One (A) and One (B).

Aeryn Sun is perhaps my favorite character of all time, and if you look closely, an inspiration for both Kayla and the hero of my first ever fantasy novel, Tae.

Simply put, I love her. She is guarded, fierce and dedicated. She knows her role within her military and she fulfills it superbly. When that military turns on her for an act of humanity, she is stripped of all she has ever known and all she believes in. She’s devastated.

But instead of mourning her loss, she picks herself up, checks with her morals to confirm that she did the right thing, and soldiers on.  She moves into a new, unknown world completely alien to her way of life, and maintains her own sense of honor while she navigates it.

She is arrogant and proud, but rightfully so (on the proud part) and diligent in her retaining her own strength. The love story between her and John is one of the most painfully wrought stories I have watched/read. She surrenders herself sliver by sliver to the trust of another being, never losing herself, and learning inch by inch that all she’s known has been wrong, and that she has to adapt.

She does this all without losing her skills or her warrior spirit. In my opinion Aeryn Sun is a model for girls who need to understand that you can love someone without losing yourself.

Number Ten (B):

Sioned (Of Melanie Rawn’s Dragon Prince Trilogy)

I almost can’t speak on Sioned, she’s had that profound of an impact on me. If you ever want to know what makes Rhonda tick, where she learned to be so fiercely loyal to her loved ones and uncompromising on their happiness, you should read Dragon Prince. I read this as an adolescent in high school and it made such an impression on me that I remember it all, even after the thousands and thousands of books I’ve read since.

There has never been a woman more badass than Sioned. If you’ve read Melanie Rawn’s series, I can pretty much stop here and your head will be nodding. The strength of her love, her loyalty, her belief in herself, her powers… she is amazing. She’s confident, strong and willful, but utterly devoted to her love and her people. She is an amazing combination of personal power and social responsibility.

In all of my reading, I have never met so impressive a heroine. So real, believable, and heartbreaking.

If you enjoy fantasy fiction and you haven’t read the series now, run—don’t walk—to your local bookstore. (Then ask if they could order it b/c it’s an older series, and you want to support local stores instead of Amazon!)


If you made it this far, thanks for reading my list. I think badass women, in all their forms, be it kicking ass as an assassin, following orders as a soldier, defending their family on any turf, being a diplomat, or having the strength to treat the wounds of others as needed, makes women amazing. The more we write about them, even in this “first world country” that is America, the better.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift, and does talking about having a big ass make you a feminist

I have so many thoughts in my mind right now I’m not even sure I can make this make sense.

To start, as soon as I hit “post” on my “9 female badass characters” post, I realized it was incredibly “white.” This is something I have become increasingly aware of as a writer and a woman. I’m not a big fan of race divides. I grew up in a family/town/lifestyle completely devoid of racism, and the idea of racism is alien to me. That said, I tend not to think about skin color. However, that does not make me immune to society’s influence and lack of diversity. When I posted my list of 9 female badass characters, I realized that 2 out of my 9 ladies were “diverse.” 3 if you count the fact that Aeryn Sunne is another race, but since she’s played by a white actress, I don’t think that counts.

This means that, even though I don’t care about race, I still identified primarily with the white characters, OR that they were the most prevalent in entertainment and media, and thus, came to mind first. Either way, it’s something to combat. For those of us who are not racist, it’s not enough to say, “well, I don’t care about race.” We need to do MORE than that. We need to promote diversity of all sorts, especially in the feminist movement, until all things are equal.

What brought this crisis to my mind, you ask? Oddly enough, the Video Music Awards. Weird, right? I didn’t watch them because a) I really don’t watch tv and b) I am really not a fan of “pop culture.” (Point in fact I read historical novels and write SF novels where I tend to mock pop culture and its influence.)

Either way, I was not immune to reading the reports of the VMAs afterward. (yay, internet and facebook!) I had several thoughts. A) Miley Cyrus had the worst outfits I’ve ever seen ;-) B) I didn’t 100% understand the controversy over why Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video didn’t with the “Best Video of the Year” award. C) Or the twitter heat when Nicki found out her video was not nominated and she said “If your video celebrates women with very slim bodies, you will be nominated for vid of the year.”

So, being the intrepid explorer that I am, I watched all the nominated (and not) videos of the controversy.

I’m glad that Minaj is celebrating women with big butts in her "Anaconda" video. Hell, I’m a white girl and my most commented on body feature (for good or ill) had been my “healthy/muscular/athletic/any term you want” butt. That’s just how my body is formed and I have a muscular/well-rounded butt, and it has been commented on since I was a kid. It took a long time to realize that was okay. I’m glad to enjoy it as an adult and realize it makes me beautiful.

However, after listening to the song and watching Minaj’s “Anaconda” video, I was disappointed. There was no super awesome story/message or choreography. It was pretty much women shaking their butts, and the lyrics were like, “I like big butts, men like big butts, and f’ya’ll skinny bitches.”

Imo, that is in no way empowering for women or a positive body image/message. I was bummed that it wasn’t more empowering for women. I mean, so, I love my butt. But a video where the girl is crawling on her knees to a guy who just gets to sit back in a chair and enjoy her sexiness is the norm, and did not leave me feeling empowered as a woman.

I didn’t find Taylor Swift’s video of “Bad Blood” amazing or anything, but it at least it a) told a story, b) celebrated badass women. There were no men telling women what to do and no lyrics/images about women having to prove their sexiness to men with their big butts.
Sure, everyone was model-skinny to the point of freakishness and I didn’t love that, but it at least tried to empower women to be badass, even if it didn’t also tackle the issue of weight discrepancy in real life.

Let’s be honest. Some women are just skinny, and there’s no crime in that. One look at Taylor Swift and you’ll realize she’s got one of those “skinny women bodies.” It’s not her fault any more than it’s my fault for being built with junk in the trunk.

Honestly, I don’t normally watch music videos and normally couldn’t care less, but, this women against women shit was distressing to me. As was Miley Cyrus’s response when Minaj threw a “what’s good” her way and Cyrus pretty much put her down.

Ladies.

Stop fighting each other.

The real evil isn’t skinny women versus women with big butts. The “evil” is a society where we feel we’re shunted into those 2 categories. Where we feel we have to sing a song about our big butts and how every guy wants it, or we need to make a video where every girl in it is model-skinny.

Let’s get real. Color doesn’t matter. Body type doesn’t matter. Gender equality in EVERY aspect of American lives matters. So celebrate every body type and let’s talk about women winning their place at the podium, in award nominations, in the arts, in the humanities, in the business world. Let’s talk about women doing the same job as men and not making the same pay for it. Let’s talk about women having to be “lady-like” and there being NO equivalent “man-like.” Let’s talk about women who speak forcibly about something  and are called a “bitch” or an “angry woman” or a “feminist” (as if that was a bad thing) or an “angry black women.” Let’s talk about how we all have the right to get upset, how we all have the right to express our views without being told we should “calm down” or “be rational” or “are you PMSing?”

I want freedom for women to speak and be judged on the EXACT same standards as men when they express their opinions. Fuck who has the bigger butt. Fuck if men wantr skinny women or women with “more to hold at night.”

Who are you when there’s no man to define you? Who are you when it’s just us, woman to woman, and your voice needs to be heard?

Step up. Be that woman, and damn the consequences.



Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Top Nine Fictional Female Badasses

(I couldn’t come up with a 10th on short notice, and I didn’t want to put a throw-away name on here!)

So here’s my list of my top 9 fave fictional female badasses. Note, this isn’t my ULTIMATE list, it’s a list I thought up in one day of musing, so it’s subject to change.

I’m going to start off with a list of “who didn’t make my top 9 badass females and why,” just to try to avoid an uproar:

Who didn’t make the list (and why)

  • Samantha Carter – Stargate SG-1 (meh. Sure, she’s smart and rocking it in the “boy’s club” of the American Airforce, but she’s SO rules oriented that she almost never follows her heart or colors outside of the lines. She’s too vanilla for me.)
  • Hermione – Harry Potter (I’m sure she would make the list, but I’ve never read the books or seen the movies) *dodges tomatoes*
  • Princess Leia – Starwars (I like her, sure, but…she never resonated with me.)
  • Xena, Warrior Princess – (never watched the show, but she looks badass)




Starting with Number Nine:

Lara Croft (As played by Angelina Jolie in the movies)



I’m pretty sure this needs no explanation.


Number Eight

Black Widow (as played by Scarlett Johansson in the recent movies)



These days, she’s almost a “must have” on this type of list because of the increasing uproar around her role on Avengers and why she doesn’t get her own movie. That aside, she is a SERIOUSLY badass character. She’s one of only 2 Avengers who lack superpowers, but she always keeps up with the “superheroes,” and slays her fair share of bad guys. She’s super savvy, uses ALL of her assets, and Gets. The. Job. Done.
‘nuff said.


Number Seven:

Aviendha (Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series)


When I was reading this series, I couldn’t imagine a more badass character than Aviendha. I pretty much wanted to BE her. She was amazingly tough and loyal. Independent, strong, self-sufficient, important to her people… I love her. She would have ranked higher on my list if Jordan hadn’t neuter her and grouped her in with all of his other female characters who considered men “wool-headed” and so refused to communicate effectively. SIGH.


Number Six:

Pocahontas (As portrayed in the Disney movie of the same name)


Growing up, this version of Pocahontas spoke very clearly to my heart. She was nature-loving, as was I, and thought that was something of worth and the land worth protecting. I still feel the same way and am thankful to have married a wonderful man who shares my conservationist tendencies.

Why do I label her a badass? That’s easy. First, she’s independent and true to herself, even though she knows it’ll earn her censure. Second, she speaks up to the foreigner she meets who doesn’t understand the colors of the wind, and takes time to show him why the earth is worth respecting. Third, she’s not afraid to embrace love where she finds it, no matter how difficult, and fights for it. Fourth, she lets that love go when she realizes it’s the best for him.
Painful sigh! I sobbed with heartbreak at the end of Pocahontas. I’m not kidding, I was inconsolable.


Number Five:

Katniss Everdeen (From The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins)


This might feel obligatory, but it’s not. Honestly, I only read the first book of The Hunger Games. But that one book was enough to convince me that Katniss was a woman who knew how to get shit done. What I love about her? A) Family above all. To me, that is the height of badassery. Well, maybe I should say “worthy family above all.” In this case her devotion to Pru, her younger sister, is so admirable it made me feel lacking. B) She’s a legitimate badass. Collins gave us a great background for why she would know how to hunt and survive in the wild, and why she would be willing to break the rules.

She’s amazing character thrust into insane circumstances. My one quibble with Hunger Games was that enough wasn’t made of the HORRIFICNESS of the Games themselves, of the idea of children killing children. Sure, the Games themselves were expected, but when it came down to actually being in them, I wanted to see some level of disbelief/horror that anyone would condone this.

Okay, that was a side note. What makes Katniss especially badass, beyond all that? Her faux love for Petra because she knew it was how to Get. Shit. Done. She manipulated any and everyone to survive, and that is what makes her a badass, even if it hurt some people. She wants to survive and save her family.

And in the midst of all that, she still cares for Rue. It’s heartbreaking, heroic and amazing.


Number Four:

Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)


This is one of my all-time favorite characters. She’s set in a time-period where women had very little power/say, but she is still a badass. She fiercely protects Jane (her older sister) when she realizes Jane’s heart has been broken. She is not afraid to spar verbally with a man above her station when he is condescending and rude to her, despite her interest in him. She does not shrink like a violet, thankful for any attention. She knows her own worth and stands by it.

When nearly forced into a loveless marriage, she rebels (and is saved from it by a doting father, thankfully). And when she realizes that she was wrong about the man she loves, she admits her mistake, and begs for her father’s acceptance of that man’s suit.

She is fearless and fierce, proud to a fault, but admits when she’s wrong. She’s a protector and she deserves every last second of happiness the book’s end grants her


Number Three:

Trinity (as played by Carrie-Anne Moss in the Matrix movies)


Why is she a badass? I’m pretty sure that question has never crossed anyone’s lips.
Not only is she a bona fide badass before the “ultimate badass,” Neo, even enters the picture, she’s so badass that the entire trilogy opens with her, in a room, trapped in the Matrix, and forced to use every skill and bit of courage she has to escape.

First, she manipulates the Matrix with the power of her mind and defeats the cops sent after her. Then, when the Agents—who are basically undefeatable—come after her, she escapes in a similar badass fashion.

She runs. She’s not too proud to admit when she’s outmatched. We see her fleeing for her life with all the strength and canniness she possesses. What I loved about the movie? They put her in flat-soled boots. Thank F’ing god. They didn’t make her wear 4 inch high Catwoman boots and expect her to somehow beat the agents when she ran across the rooftops.

She dove through a window, convinced that the agents would be on top of her in second. She even had to give herself a nudge. “Get up, Trinity. Get UP.” And she did, fear for her life and her very existence in tow.

When we see that last moment of truth, when she has to race a crazy trash truck to the phone and hope she’s retrieved before the agent kills her, I cheered to see her take the risk and gain her freedom.

Bravery, badassery, and unwavering faith in a cause. She’s amazing.

My only disappointment in the movie was that she was given the HORRIBLE fortune by the Oracle that had nothing to do with her at all. Instead, it was “The man you love will be The One.” SIGH Who gives a shit? Let’s get Trinity a destiny all her own!


Number One (A):

Aeryn Sun (As played by Claudia Black in Farscape)


So, I’m cheating, but numbers one and two are a tie, so I’m going with Numbers One (A) and One (B).

Aeryn Sun is perhaps my favorite character of all time, and if you look closely, an inspiration for both Kayla and the hero of my first ever fantasy novel, Tae.

Simply put, I love her. She is guarded, fierce and dedicated. She knows her role within her military and she fulfills it superbly. When that military turns on her for an act of humanity, she is stripped of all she has ever known and all she believes in. She’s devastated.

But instead of mourning her loss, she picks herself up, checks with her morals to confirm that she did the right thing, and soldiers on.  She moves into a new, unknown world completely alien to her way of life, and maintains her own sense of honor while she navigates it.

She is arrogant and proud, but rightfully so (on the proud part) and diligent in her retaining her own strength. The love story between her and John is one of the most painfully wrought stories I have watched/read. She surrenders herself sliver by sliver to the trust of another being, never losing herself, and learning inch by inch that all she’s known has been wrong, and that she has to adapt.

She does this all without losing her skills or her warrior spirit. In my opinion Aeryn Sun is a model for girls who need to understand that you can love someone without losing yourself.


Number One (B):

Sioned (Of Melanie Rawn’s Dragon Prince Trilogy)

(Sadly, no good picture that does Sioned justice)


I almost can’t speak on Sioned, she’s had that profound of an impact on me. If you ever want to know what makes Rhonda tick, where she learned to be so fiercely loyal to her loved ones and uncompromising on their happiness, you should read Dragon Prince. I read this as an adolescent in high school and it made such an impression on me that I remember it all, even after the thousands and thousands of books I’ve read since.

There has never been a woman more badass than Sioned. If you’ve read Melanie Rawn’s series, I can pretty much stop here and your head will be nodding. The strength of her love, her loyalty, her belief in herself, her powers… she is amazing. She’s confident, strong and willful, but utterly devoted to her love and her people. She is an amazing combination of personal power and social responsibility.

In all of my reading, I have never met so impressive a heroine. So real, believable, and heartbreaking.

If you enjoy fantasy fiction and you haven’t read the series now, run—don’t walk—to your local bookstore. (Then ask if they could order it b/c it’s an older series, and you want to support local stores instead of Amazon!)


If you made it this far, thanks for reading my list. I think badass women, in all their forms, be it kicking ass as an assassin, following orders as a soldier, defending their family on any turf, being a diplomat, or having the strength to treat the wounds of others as needed, makes women amazing. The more we write about them, even in this “first world country” that is America, the better.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Strong, Independent Heroine…or Just a Bitch?

So, if you’ve met me or read my work, you know I love a great “strong female lead.” I love to write (and read!) about kick-ass ladies who get shit done, take names, and are just all-around fierce. And I’m not just talking about Lara Croft, here. They can be kick-ass in any sphere, and words are sometimes the best weapon of all. They can wear dresses, be mothers, have tea, or fight in the octagon and snipe people.

“Why the ‘Just a Bitch?’ line, then?” you’re thinking. Well, here it is. One of my many pet peeves is writers mistaking bitchiness for “being independent.”

So there I was, reading a suspense novel. There’s the strong female lead, let’s call her “Bess.” Bess is a private investigator, but her specialty is really finding and tracking people and things in cyberspace. She’s a tough cookie, she packs a SIG Sauer in an ankle holster, she won’t take no for an answer, and she helps battered women find new identities and escape abusive situations (as pro bono work). She goes after the bad guys like it’s her mission.

She sounds great, right?

Nope. What she actually is, is argumentative, antagonistic, overly-sensitive with a super short fuse and no regard for other people. Oh, and the type to walk off whenever she’s upset and not communicate.

In walks the male lead. (Poor bastard) Let’s call him “David.” (That one’s for you, Dave Medinnus!) Now, David is a detective with over a decade of experience, and he’s a damn fine one.

So Bess can’t get in touch with one of her clients and is convinced that the woman has been murdered. (With no evidence) She goes to David (whom she met once before) and insist he investigate the case (with no evidence). Never thinking, “gee, he’s an insanely over-worked detective who might not want to be doing cases on the sly and getting fired.” When he’s skeptical about this being an actual case,  (because there’s no body, no blood, no evidence, and oh yeah, the woman has been in hiding for 6 months) Bess blows up at him and is all “I can’t believe you don’t believe me!” and huffs off.

Flash-forward a day, David’s worked his actual job all day and night, getting sucker punched by a gang-banger and having to go to a body dump, all that, with paperwork up the wazoo. She calls him THAT NEXT DAY to see what he’s dug up on her “missing” client yet. When he says he hasn’t had time to look into it yet, Bess blows up at him with “I can’t believe a woman’s life means that little to you! Fine, if you’re ‘too busy’ …” and yaddie yaddie.

So the next day, he somehow does manage to investigate the supposed missing person of Bess’s (and finds out that the few leads Bess thought she had were actually duds.) So he tells her that, and she flips out on him again for not believing her.

Then, of course, she goes out and does stupid things on her own because “I don’t need a man’s help!” Uh, gee, Bess, might you maybe need the help of a person actually trained to do these things, maybe? Just…annoying. So, she gets in trouble like an idiot. Then Dave (who, for some unknown reason, cares about her) expresses concern over her getting injured and she blows up at him, “Don’t tell me how to do my job!” and “Maybe if you actually did your job…” and yaddie.

Just…hold on a sec, Bess. How can you NOT see this from Dave’s side?

Speaking of…during this entire novel David is getting about 2 hours of sleep a night, running around doing his real detective job and being exhausted. After one of the times Bess blows up at him for no good reason, she then won’t answer his calls for 3 days. Then, Sunday morning comes, David’s ONE morning to sleep in and he had only gotten in at 4 am that morning. She shows up a 6 am (after not talking to him for 3 days) and is like, “Hey, buddy. Let’s hang out. Want to go for a jog with me?”
If I was David, at this point I’d be like, “No, lady. You’re the most obnoxious, aggressive, selfish, self-righteous idiot I’ve ever met. Also, I just told you I’d only slept 2 hours, and you still think I should spend my time with you this morning? F off.” And finish it off with slamming the door shut, clicking all the locks as loudly as possible, and going the heck right back to bed without one single regret.

It’s obnoxiously bitchy characters like this that make people sometimes groan when they hear the words, “Oh!, this book’s got a strong female lead.”


And that breaks my heart, because it just makes it that much harder for strong female leads to get the attention they deserve.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Continuing Battle for Gender Equality

So for my day job, I am employed by Nasdaq, a corporate giant. They (perhaps surprisingly) have a great corporate drive for diversity in the workplace. Today I had the chance to watch a panel discussion on the topic of “Women on Boards: Pathway to Directorship.”(meaning boards of directors) (Don’t worry, this post won’t be all business-speak) Hearing these incredibly accomplished and experienced women talk about women in management/director roles really got me thinking about how women are raised and considered by males.

The panel opened the talk with a discussion of regulations in Norway and other parts of Europe that require a certain percentage of board members to be female. I believe it was Norway that has instituted a policy that 40% of the people on boards been to be female. Woah.

Personally, I dislike this idea. In theory, it could force a board to put under-qualified people on the board in order to meet this quota. (A similar discussion takes place about the implications Affirmative Action in the education system). But both of these bring up the real issue—women are underprepared to take on executive roles, which can be linked to how we view females even when they’re children.

More on that in a minute.

One of the things the panel discussed was what happened when they, as board members, approached women candidates and asked them to join a particular board. In more than one instance, the women declined the offer because they didn’t feel confident accepting a new role that they weren’t already perfect at. They lacked the confidence to take on this new challenge. For comparison, the several panelists said “we’ve never been turned down by a male candidate.”

That brings up the issue that women lack confidence, both in general, but especially in executing in male-dominated worlds. This also, imo, leads back to how we as a society raise our girls.

Another item mentioned was the fact that among women who did have positions on boards, the majority of them had titles that are considered “support” roles, such as being a CFO, CMO, COO and so on, but very few were CEOs. There’s a distinct lack of women in CEO roles.

Another often mentioned idea was networking/mentoring. All of the women on the panel felt that in the workplace the men had a built-in networking system that groomed male employees for advancement and kept them on the path for career advancement. Women were left out of that network. It’s a holdover from the “good ole boy” “boys’ club” days that refuse to die.

Those days and their holdovers need to die.

When asked in the opening of the panel what the barriers were that kept women out of board rooms, the answer was “Attitudes. That’s the only issue. Male attitudes about the ability of women, their competency and all that. Once attitudes change, we won’t have this issue.”

As far as networking/mentors, it was generally agreed that mentoring was effective, but what surprised me (and it really shouldn’t have) was that most of the panelists STRONGLY recommended that women who wanted to be on a board have male mentors. To me, this is still part of the problem. It’s basically saying, “If you want to get in, you need to find a way in to the boys’ club of boards.” It basically says, “yeah, women are mentoring each other on being more proactive and confident, and that’s helpful, but if you want to get in, you still need to tap into that boys’ club network.”

The business network between women is growing, but in reality, it lacks the power of the male network. They just don’t hold positions of power in order to leverage the same level of benefit.

What was depressing about the panel was the realization that most of the women on the panel had gotten their board positions from a “lucky chance” sort of situation. So, say a woman had somehow gotten onto a board. All of the panelists got their initial roles on a board b/c that first woman on the board happened to know them and specifically offered a hand-up to their fellow female. What came across to me was that most of the women on boards had gotten their positions based on really-lucky-networking, not straight-up talent/competencies.

So to me, all of this comes back to how we, as a society, raise our children and shape our young women. This is a collective effort, this takes all of us. This takes changes at all levels and all areas of society.

The most important item that came out of this panel, for me, was the lack of confidence women had in themselves and their ability to tackle new situations. This isn’t something we can fix at the corporate level by writing laws saying that businesses need to have X% of women in their management structure. This needs to be addressed at a much earlier moment, when we’re all young girls, vulnerable to all of the pressures of society.

Girls need to be encouraged to purse ANY and ALL avenues that interest them. I’m not just talking about STEM initiatives, which are VERY crucial, but let’s talk about business skills, entrepreneurial skills, economics, and so on. Let’s get all of us—parents, educators, society—encouraging girls to take on ANY and EVERYTHING. Science, Math, Tech, Business, Arts, Social Studies, History, etc. Women and girls can do it all. Encourage them. Help them. Support them. We need to EMPOWER our young girls.

If we want diversity at the highest level, this needs to start at the lowest level.

This is making me think of Dove’s awesome ad/social interest campaign about “Like aGirl”
Also captured in this meme:





I’m talking about making a change at the VERY BEGINNING of life. Gender roles are sharply defined at way too young of an age in our society.

I’m thinking about Goldie Blox, who had an awesome Goldie Blox Super Bowlcommercial where girls took all of their “pink” toys and built a rocket ship out of them. The ad slogan for the campaign was “Tools for Future Innovators.” Not “Tools for Girls” or “Boy-Type Toys for Girls.” It was acknowledging that girls are future innovators, irregardless of gender. They don’t have to be “girls who are like boys” they are just themselves, girls who like building block toys. I really like the quote on Goldie Blox site:



Hell yeah.

My main point here is that we need to break down our idea of “being a girl” and get rid of it. We need to treat young girls and boys as people, and stop training them so hard in their gender strengths and weaknesses.

I grew up being called a tomboy, and as a child I was proud of that fact, and therein, I believe, lies the root of the problem. As a child, I knew that all girls were girls. But as a tomboy, I was something MORE than a girl. I was faster, stronger, fiercer, more independent. Did they call me a Kick-ass Girl? No. They called me a TomBOY. As is, you’re better than a girl, b/c you’re like the boys, too! The equation I learned? Boy traits > Girl traits. If I could have both traits as a girl, then I could almost make up for the fact that I wasn’t born a boy.

As an adult, I realize this idea is horrific. What I want is for young girls today to have no notion of the idea that the hierarchy of worth goes: girls < girls who can fit into the boys’ club < boys.

I’ve babbled on enough for today (and I could keep going!) but I want to close out with a quick piece on one of my fave people on the planet, John Stewart, and his comments on Bruce Jenner’s transformation to Caitlyn Jenner. (Way to go, Caitlyn! I am so happy for you that you can be yourself, finally!)

Here is a briefsum up of John Stewart’s bit on how, now that Caitlyn Jenner is officially a woman, she can look forward to being objectified and judged for her looks all the time now, like the rest of us women.

#breakdowngenderroles

#empowerourchildren